Life is so unfair; you have probably heard this saying a lot, but you will not actually realize how true it is until you are put in a situation where you feel like a victim, but still, you cannot blame everything on life.
When we say life, society is automatically included. Maybe society is the main reason our lives can be hard sometimes because you will never be able to find a way crawling away from people’s judgmental eyes, especially when it comes to appearance; for some mysterious reason, they set up some beauty standards that if you fail to meet, you will be sentenced to an eternal depression.
That was exactly what happened to me; when I was little, I was not lucky enough to have a fit body or a body that is suitable for a little girl because I loved food so much and especially the junk one. I lived my whole life suffering from anxiety and zero confidence because I was always compared to girls who were smaller in size, consequently, they had the priority in everything including the school theater which used to be my dream as a kid.
I wanted to be an actress, but later I stopped thinking about that anymore because everyone around me, including my family, would make fun of me, stating that I would never get good roles because of my big body. Deep down, I believed them, but I never wanted to admit that. I was a girl who constantly got bullied at school and I was also the one who used to cover her chubby body under oversized clothes, looking like a homeless kid. I used to look at skinny girls with envy, for I was not anything like them and I hated myself for that.
Every time I decided to start going on a diet, I definitely had to fall off the track earlier that I had expected. I got easily tempted by a piece of cake or a delicious-looking cheeseburger sandwich and candies; oh candies were actually my best friends. I was a kid after all and dieting was never an easy choice. I thought about joining a sports team, but I did not have the courage to get myself involved with a group of skinny and fit people, so I had to forget about that idea too.
Years have passed and I have grown up to be an even bigger lady and despite the fact that I thought I would always be single because who would love such a big woman like me, but I was wrong and I am so thankful for that. I met a great guy, who is currently my husband, we became friends and I fell for him, thinking that he would never catch feelings for me, but, to my surprise, he did, and we got married.
I was always complaining about the shape of my body and he usually encouraged me to hit the gym and stick to a healthy plan, but with my hectic schedule, sticking to this was not as easy as I thought. No matter how motivated I felt, things never went the way I wanted them to.
After all, I believed that turning your lifestyle upside down was the hardest thing to do; for most of my life, I had always led an inactive life that was full of anything in the world, excluding any healthy habits. I hated eating vegetables and fruits, but pizzas and burgers were the apples of my life. Besides, my unhealthy habits were not only limited to eating, but it also included disturbed patterns of sleeping and never drinking enough water. I, literally, did everything that was recommended to be done for having a healthy life.
Losing weight became a harder task with every year that has passed and I kept getting much bigger and heavier. My anxiety has grown with me as well; it was even bigger that I could ever take it because I was too afraid that my husband would ditch me for not being beautiful enough.
Although he had always been a nice and gentle man, we always fought a lot and I have to admit that I was always the reason we start fighting. He never did anything bad or hurt me, but I was constantly haunted by the idea that he did not leave because he was already cheating and he had other women to make him forget about his miserable life with his big chubby wife.
Whenever he came home late, we both knew that it was not going to be one of our best days because I could not ever hold myself back from questioning his loyalty. He was so nice to me; he handled me at my worst, and he always encouraged me to be the best version of myself and all he got from me was trust issues for no apparent reasons, but my own low self-esteem.
My husband usually encouraged me to take a break and go on a vacation together; enjoy our times on the beach, but all that came to my mind every time he said that was the image of hot girls in bikinis, so I start yelling and refusing to go on a vacation with him. He never understood why I was acting that way, but he also never forced me to do anything I did not feel like doing.
A lot of my friends at work had actually encouraged me to hit the gym with them, so I did not feel unmotivated when going alone, but actually, through the years, as my body got bigger and heavier, my self-esteem became lower than ever until it hit a rock-bottom ground.
At those thriving moments of motivation, I would look up several diet plans on the internet and promise myself to stick to it and become the perfect version of myself, but it was only a matter of time before I got tempted by another delicious and a totally unhealthy meal. I would immediately regret falling off the track and not sticking to my diet plan, but then I accept the fact that some things were not meant to change and the same applied to my mindset and the shape of my body, no matter how depressed I was because of how I looked.
One day, I decided that I should stop those feelings of insecurity as soon as possible and, definitely; you all would think that I had the willpower to change for real this time, but that was not my plan; I decided to break up with my husband.
That might sound crazy to everyone, even to me when I think back to this moment, but I took this decision for two different reasons; first, I was tired of constantly being afraid that my husband would leave me for another woman and even though he never did anything to make me feel that way, I still felt that I was not pretty enough for him to stick longer than he did, and the second reason was to end my pain of watching him trying hard to please me and I was never satisfied. You might think I was so selfish to do so, but I was actually doing this for both me and him.
My husband fought me at first, but when he felt like he was not welcome around anymore he had to leave. Even though I was the one to call for a breakup, I was deeply hurt. I stopped calling my friends or even picking up any calls, I no longer enjoy going anywhere outside the house, and, definitely, I was too anxious to ever hit a gym and come across girls with hot bodies, so I stopped getting myself involved in any social activity.
I felt so miserable and I was so lonely. For the first time in a while, I felt like I regret everything I did to the people who loved me unconditionally and I felt so bad for my dear husband. I did not know how I got the courage to shut out my husband who was also my best friend and the one who had always been there for me.
For the whole day, I would just lie down and keep on watching boring movies for hours and I kept stuffing myself with every unhealthy food I see before my eyes. I was nearly waiting for a miracle to happen. It was not long until I saw my husband standing at my door, saying that he found something that I would love to know about; he handed me a product called Garcinia Cambogia; this product was supposed to be taken with green tea and taking it regularly would make my metabolism work faster and, consequently, I’d lose weight.
I was too tired to give myself a false hope for once more, but seeing my husband coming back after hurting him, and he just came for me, made me want to give a shot.
2 months later, I was a totally different person. I became who I’ve always wanted to be. And here I am today, a 29-year-old woman, 170 pounds, with two babies and a loving husband. I never realized how lucky I was for having a man like my husband who made my weight loss journey easier than ever.
I might not be at the healthiest weight right now, but I’m still determined to keep on easily reaching my ideal weight using Garcinia Cambogia. Me and my overweight friends who used it, never regretted using it and also anyone will be granted the great body.